Intangible gifts I want to give to my children

-healthy eating habits
-love of being fit
-love of outdoors
-social dexterity
-love of reading
-happiness
-high emotional intelligence
-love of self
-love for others
-how to keep a clean living space

And of course, most importantly, a love for Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ.

Do you live in a bubble?

What does it mean to you when you say someone lives "in a bubble?" Is it good to live in a bubble? Do children who grow up in a bubble have a better chance at retaining the values taught within the bubble? Or does it have negative connotations for you?

Many people say that Utah Mormons live in a bubble--many of the experiences that other people in the US have are not as prevalent there, and there isn't much racial diversity.

To me, being in a bubble means that you have restricted experiences, whether it's with friends, work, leisure, entertainment, or whatever.

However, I feel that children have a better chance at succeeding in society if they have many experiences while they are still living at home with loving parents. This way, if they run into a challenging experience, they can ask for their parents' help and advice.

"Many experiences" does not necessarily mean being exposed to drugs, illegal activity, or other unsavory things. To me, it means being exposed to many occupations, people from different cultures and nations, different skills, and different places.

In this sense, maybe most children grow up in a bubble, since they don't experience much outside of their own family's culture and are not able to participate in most occupations until graduation from high school and/or college.

However, I believe that children who are able to experience many parts of life before moving away from their parents will be better able to cope with new situations that come up and be better equipped to succeed in relationships, work, and self-care.

Summer work for teenagers

As a teenager, I understood the value of work and getting some working experience before going out into the world on my own. However, when I was finally old enough to have a summer job, I had a lot of difficulty finding one. I applied to many different places, but no one wanted to hire me. Actually, one fast food restaurant did hire me, but after giving me the baptism of fire working the drive thru (where I was terrible, of course), they never put me on the work schedule again.

Ultimately, I had four different summer jobs through six summers while going to school: babysitting, working as a secretary at the computer repair shop my brother worked at, an internship, and as a painter. The work as a painter and as a babysitter was erratic and unreliable. There were only two summers where I had meaningful employment.

I wanted better employment, but I didn't know how to find it. I've talked to a lot of people my age who've had a difficult time finding a job or figuring out what they want to do for a living.

Obviously, I want  my children to have a better experience than I had. I've pondered on what I can do for them to help them get the exposure they need to find a job, get experience working, and to find a job that they'll enjoy. This is with the knowledge that summer jobs for teenagers are limited, it can be discouraging to keep looking and looking without finding something, and parents shouldn't take the responsibility to find a job for their children.

My plan is that my teenagers will be required to spend 20-30 hours/week (or more, if they want) in the summertime working. If they can't find a job, I will help them find a place to volunteer. Right now I assume that it's pretty easy to find volunteer work. They can volunteer at a pet shelter, the hospital, at their school, at a food bank, at the library, or many other places. Not only will volunteer work keep them busy, it will also help them to learn more about the world and society around them. They will also get fulfillment from doing something valuable with their summer hours. However, I will also teach them to self-advocate, so that once they have more skills that they will not settle for volunteer work with no pay but receive some sort of compensation.

I am also hoping to encourage them to shadow people who work in the profession(s) that they are interested in pursuing, and maybe even some that they don't have interest in (yet) to broaden their horizons and help them understand what it may be like to work in that particular profession.

Is there anything that you would add to my plan or concerns that you have about it? Let me know!

My Bucket List

Travel outside of the country to see something interesting (Machu Picchu? Mexican pyramids?)

Bike 20 miles at a time (or more!)

Go on a cruise

Become a temple worker

Get another college degree, possibly teach college

Find new information on Callie Nolan (ancestor)

See Providence Canyon; hike and take pictures!

Hike with kids in at least 5 different parks

See the Aurora Borealis

Vacation in Hawaii

Go to Yellowstone National Park and see Old Faithful

Visit Mesa Verde and tour the cliff dwellings

Popular?

Middle school me would have had a hard time believing that one day I'd be one of the popular kids. However, here I am, and I'm part of that elite group in my new ward. Crazy!

I didn't really do anything special to be in the popular group. I just fit the mold: I'm young, I'm educated, I enjoy and have time to read books. I'm even a little bit sporty (ok, ok, all it is is that I run, and that's a newer thing. I'm going to write an update on that soon). Oh yeah. I also have young kids, just like all the other "popular" moms.

I actually feel kind of ridiculous talking about how popular I am.

Anyway, I'm one of those people. They are all nice, kind, and accepting people, but they are the "popular" group and many people in the ward have a hard time feeling like they fit in. Now that I'm in this situation, what am I to do about it?

First things first, let's start with what I have done. I've tried sitting with people in my ward who are not part of the popular group. I really enjoy their company, and they have so many unique talents and experiences. I'm actively trying to get to know everyone in my ward, not just the "popular" ones.

However, this isn't enough. The other "popular" people aren't following my lead. It's kind of funny, because a lot of them are shy or not very outgoing. I think they don't even realize that they're popular! For the situation to change, however, the other "popular" people need to get involved.

One of the things that made it hard for me to fit in when I was younger was that I unwittingly excluded myself from other people and their activities. We didn't share interests, so I thought that they weren't interested in doing things with me. What I didn't understand was that in order to be friends with someone different from you, sometimes you have to put some of your favorite interests on the back burner in order to foster your new friendship.

It's difficult for me to think of activities or conversation starters that don't involve children, books, or a limited amount of exercise. However, the fact of the matter is that there are millions upon millions of people in this world who don't have any interest in even one of those things. If I want to have a well-rounded worldview and include people from many walks of life in my circle of friends--regardless of where I know them from--then I need to learn to branch out, get out of my comfort zone, and take interest in their favorite interests.

Let's not be like Glinda :)

The scariest thing about being a mom

The scariest thing about being a mom is the fear that I'll ruin my children's lives, that I'll give them lasting --but preventable!--psychological, emotional, or physical issues through ignorance or insufficient diligence.

It's kind of scary that I'm entrusted with these small children.

When I see my weaknesses reflected in them, I hope to teach them that I've done the very best I could, but I hope they improve on the way I raised them when they raise their own children. I hope I can give them the tools they need to be better parents than I have been.

I love them, and I hope that will be enough in the long run.

Future plans for being the coolest mom EVER!

Levi is right at the cusp of being able to play games and put together puzzles. It's been really fun working on those with him over the past month or so. Doing those things with him really makes me look forward to working on more complex puzzles and more interesting games as he, Cecil, and my future children get older.

I have visions of us being gathered around a card table working on a puzzle.

I see us playing Skip-bo, Phase 10, Uno, and Go Fish over and over again.

I'll teach them to love playing strategy games like Dominion, Settlers of Catan, and others.

We'll even get some sightseeing in--I think it would be really cool to line up a really nice weather day with a no test day in school, sign them out and go on a hike, have a picnic, or visit a museum. Doesn't that sound like fun?

How do I help my children feel equally loved?

One thing that I want to do for my children is give them equal attention and love. I know this will be difficult, especially since I want more than two or three! I also know that I will not succeed 100% of the time, but that it's worth the effort.

This desire means several things need to happen.

This means keeping track of the developmental milestones for ALL of my children - at least to the extent that I did for Levi. This includes blog posts, Facebook posts, and especially pictures.

It also means spending individual time with each of them in addition to the time I'll spend with them together.

This also means getting to know each of them individually so that I will know when they are feeling left out or unloved.

This means making sure they will be comfortable telling me their concerns and their desires. How will I give my kids equal attention and love if I don't know their individual wants and needs?


These are just a few of my thoughts. What are some things that you can think of that are important for giving kids equal attention and love?

Goals - what now?

When I was a teenager, I attended Young Womens classes at my church. Those classes are essentially Sunday school classes for young women from age 12-18, often with supplemental activities during the week.

Anyway, sometimes we'd talk about goals: What do you want to be doing in 5 years from now? 10? It was pretty easy to set those goals since I was in high school and planned on going to college. I also wanted to get married and start a family.

By now, I've reached those goals. I graduated from the university I attended with honors and I'm now married to a wonderful man and have an adorable son, with another kiddo on the way. I don't think serving a mission was ever a serious goal for me while I was in high school, but I ended up doing that, too. I'm glad I did.

I've heard that many people arrive at this point and feel at a loss as to how they should continue; they now have everything they wanted out of life--what now?

I don't think I've ever felt that way. I get fulfillment out of learning to be a better wife and mother, to understand and work with my husband better every day. However, those are very indistinct goals, and I feel like it's beneficial to have more than just that kind of goal to work with.

Everyone will have different goals, because everyone is different and has different strengths and desires. However, here are some of my goals:

1. Strengthen neighborhood unity by throwing (simple) neighborhood parties, especially after moving out of Wymount (we already have a lot of neighborhood unity, and extra parties here would probably be overkill, haha)
2. Help kids in single-parent families to have the attention they need (and also to give their parents a break if they need it!) by helping with homework, transportation, or whatever else is needed.
3. Make my home a positive place my children and their friends will love to be--with acceptance, support, and snacks!
4. Get training for a job I'll love (so, probably not engineering) and go back to work after my children are old enough.
5. Meet new people by participating in community activities such as toddler time at the library (I had thought of another way to meet people in the community, but it escapes me right now. Edit: Aha! What about game night at the game store?)

You can see that a lot of these goals are based off of me loving to be around people and meeting new people. An introvert would have different goals that would reflect his or her own strengths. My goals also involve my children and their friends. Someone who doesn't have kids would have the opportunity to focus on something different.

I encourage anyone reading this post to set goals for your life, especially if you've already gotten the "big goals" or if achieving them is out of your control. Make goals both for making the world around you better and that will make yourself better or happier.