Mother's day 2019

We had a nice quiet Mother's Day here. Lincoln was sick, sick, sick, so after church (Austin stayed home with Lincoln) we just lazed around and spent time together. I took some pictures with the kids, Levi gave me a card, Austin made the meals and also cleaned the kitchen, Cecil gave me a hug and said, "Happy Mother's Day!" and Lincoln gave me the best snuggles all day long (too bad it was because he's sick!).

We had some really nice family time on the couch. Levi has recently finished reading the first Harry Potter book (!!) and watched the movie, so he made a wand for himself and was casting spells on all of us. We took turns being petrified and levitated. Austin joined in and was pretty successful at sabotaging Levi's spells by either blocking them with his hands or saying words almost the same as the ones for the spell, but not quite. When Levi and Cecil working together were finally able to keep him from using his hands to block the spells at the same time Levi was able to say the petrification spell without being messed up, Austin fell down and the boys laughed with joy, and Lincoln even cracked a smile and let out a tiny laugh despite feeling so bad.

Cecil got out our baby doll and Austin had him hold it like a new baby. Cecil was very gentle and careful; it was so cute! Then he wrapped the baby in a blanket and carried it around for a while, placing it on the couch and re-wrapping it at intervals. At one point, he asked for a diaper, which I coached him on putting on the doll but he mostly did it himself. I told him that he was getting good practice in for one day when he's a daddy, and that seemed to make him feel extra special. 

I also mentioned that when the new baby is born, Cecil won't be big enough to change his diaper, but Levi probably could! Levi seemed pretty taken with that idea and wanted to get some practice in immediately, and changed Lincoln's diaper! He even thought to give Lincoln a toy to hold without me saying anything. I was pretty impressed! I don't think Lincoln will cooperate so well in the future, but this time he seemed so taken with the novelty of Levi changing his diaper that he just watched and listened in fascination.

Cecil was pretending the hat was Cappy from Mario Odyssey. That means you can control
whoever's wearing it, even if it's a bad guy!

Poor sick Lincoln showing the camera his nose (I'm not sure why...)

Levi wanted a silly picture! He did smile normally for later pictures, but for some reason my camera had stopped working, so you don't get to see those!

Popular?

Middle school me would have had a hard time believing that one day I'd be one of the popular kids. However, here I am, and I'm part of that elite group in my new ward. Crazy!

I didn't really do anything special to be in the popular group. I just fit the mold: I'm young, I'm educated, I enjoy and have time to read books. I'm even a little bit sporty (ok, ok, all it is is that I run, and that's a newer thing. I'm going to write an update on that soon). Oh yeah. I also have young kids, just like all the other "popular" moms.

I actually feel kind of ridiculous talking about how popular I am.

Anyway, I'm one of those people. They are all nice, kind, and accepting people, but they are the "popular" group and many people in the ward have a hard time feeling like they fit in. Now that I'm in this situation, what am I to do about it?

First things first, let's start with what I have done. I've tried sitting with people in my ward who are not part of the popular group. I really enjoy their company, and they have so many unique talents and experiences. I'm actively trying to get to know everyone in my ward, not just the "popular" ones.

However, this isn't enough. The other "popular" people aren't following my lead. It's kind of funny, because a lot of them are shy or not very outgoing. I think they don't even realize that they're popular! For the situation to change, however, the other "popular" people need to get involved.

One of the things that made it hard for me to fit in when I was younger was that I unwittingly excluded myself from other people and their activities. We didn't share interests, so I thought that they weren't interested in doing things with me. What I didn't understand was that in order to be friends with someone different from you, sometimes you have to put some of your favorite interests on the back burner in order to foster your new friendship.

It's difficult for me to think of activities or conversation starters that don't involve children, books, or a limited amount of exercise. However, the fact of the matter is that there are millions upon millions of people in this world who don't have any interest in even one of those things. If I want to have a well-rounded worldview and include people from many walks of life in my circle of friends--regardless of where I know them from--then I need to learn to branch out, get out of my comfort zone, and take interest in their favorite interests.

Let's not be like Glinda :)

A fun day with Levi

Today Levi and I spent the better part of the afternoon and all of the evening until bedtime doing stuff together. We had a lot of fun!

A little after noon we went to the grocery store. Levi rode in the cart and gave commentary on the things in the store. He also held (at various times) the celery, the mushrooms, canned beans, and sesame oil. The sesame oil was especially fun because he pretended to pour it into the cans. He overheard a lady saying that she needed to get eggs, and he said, "Momma! We need to get eggs!" Coincidentally, we did need eggs :). The store--which doesn't play music--was graced by his enthusiastic singing. He even got a sticker! We also saw some friends from church. Levi noticed them first, and it was really fun for him to see another kid that he knew at the store.

Cecil slept the whole time (whew!)

After we came home and were putting away the groceries, Levi noticed the blender in one of the cabinets. He got really excited about it and got it out--he never really seemed that excited about it before--and put it on the counter. He asked me to make something in it, so after I finished feeding Cecil (who had woken up and was hungry), I tried out a new hummus recipe that Becky posted on Facebook, and I like it better than the kind I had made before. Levi really liked it, too! He was very interested in the process of making it, as he always is when I cook or otherwise prepare food.

After that, Cecil needed my attention. I try to keep his bouncer close by so he can watch what we're doing and not be bored, so he was close by. He was hungry and tired, so after I fed him and got him to go to sleep, Levi "played on my legs" as he calls it. Basically I gave him leg-horsey rides. I laid on my back with my legs up and bent, he sat on my feet, and I bounced him up and down or back and forth. This game evolved into a tickling game. We had a lot of fun!

When I got tired, I suggested we play Uno, and Levi enthusiastically agreed. The particular flavor of Uno that we played went like this: the cards were dealt, then we took turns matching the color. When we both ran out of the color, we picked the next color at will and continued until neither of us had any cards left. Levi really liked the wild cards and would hold them up, look at them while saying, "I like....green!" and then play a green card. He didn't play the wild; he was saving it for the next color change. At the end of one game he had two wild cards next to him. It was very cute.

Every time we finished a game, Levi said, "Let's play again!" We played at least 15 games.

I dealt for the first 10 or so games, then one time Levi grabbed the cards before I could and--also enthusiastically--dealt out the cards, more or less evenly. Every time we finished a game after that, Levi dealt the cards. Finally I was ready for a change of pace and I told him that the next game was the last one. Levi's really good about believing me when I say things like that, so after we finished that one, he didn't deal out cards for another game.

As soon as we finished Uno, Levi said, "Let's play my game!" which meant putting together the 100-piece floor puzzle that Nathan got him for Christmas. Cecil was ready for undivided attention again, though, so we had a short break while I fed him. Levi got out the puzzle and spread it out on the floor while he was waiting. Finally, I was ready. This was probably the third or fourth time Levi had worked on the puzzle (with help, of course),  and he participated much more this time than in the past! He did really well matching up pieces together, and put some together all by himself! Most of them, I'd tell him where to put them and then he'd put the piece where it went. I noticed that he no longer tries to match up pieces that obviously won't fit together (like two ins), but makes sure he aligns the new piece so that it might fit. He still doesn't really get that the picture is supposed to continue from piece to piece, but that'll come later. Levi ended up putting in most of the pieces. One piece was missing, but we found it near where he was spreading them on the floor and put it in at the end.

After all that, I still had energy to do more stuff with him, so I got out a can of pumpkin puree that I'd been meaning to use, and we made some pumpkin muffins. He licked the spoon and the bowl after we put the batter in the oven, at his own request. It went something like this:

Me: We're going to put the batter in this muffin tin.
Levi: And then, I can lick it!
Me (smiling to myself at his enthusiasm): Yes, you can!

Levi really enjoyed putting the ingredients in the bowl after I measured them out. He also liked "cutting" the batter--basically moving the mixing spoon up and down in the batter. We had the muffins with some leftover frosting, and they were SO GOOD. I like food. Yum! :)

That was pretty much my day from 12:00 pm 'til 7:30 pm. I'm really enjoying my growing, learning boy!

Levi: the best big brother!

Levi is a pretty stellar big brother. He really enjoys having Cecil around, talking to Cecil, and even helping Cecil calm down (which, incidentally, he's pretty good at!).

Holding Cecil, only a few weeks old

Today Levi helped Cecil fist-bump him. Yesterday, Cecil started getting fussy while I was making dinner, and Levi ran over to him and just looked at him. Cecil calmed down almost immediately at the sight of his big brother. Little things like this happen all the time. Also, every time I put Cecil on a blanket for tummy time, Levi gets all excited and lays down there right next to him.

Enjoying tummy time & keeping his little brother company

Levi said, "Hi Cecil. I am a lobster." Cuuuuuute!

Levi really likes talking about his little brother and hearing about being a big brother. When either Austin or I read a story about brothers, Levi loves having his and Cecil's names put in place of the characters in the book.

A picture of either one is great, but when they're together, the picture is even better!

The only time Levi really seemed frustrated at having Cecil around was after we came home from a grocery trip. Both Levi and Cecil were hungry and competing for my attention, which I couldn't give them immediately because I needed to put away the frozen and refrigerated groceries first. By the time I finished, Cecil was crying in full earnest, and I rushed over to him so that I could help him. Levi rushed over, too, and right as I was getting there, Levi flipped down the carseat canopy over Cecil so I couldn't see him (pretty extreme, I know).

My first impulse was to say, "No, Levi, can't you tell that Cecil needs me?" but then I realized Levi needed some validation and to feel like he had some control over the situation, so I said, "What? Where's Cecil??" in my best I-can't-find-him-and-I'm-worried voice. We were both right next to Cecil's covered carrier. Levi smiled. Then I said, "Wow, I can hear him crying, I think he really needs me, but I can't see him anywhere!" Levi flipped up the cover, then immediately flipped it down again. I was able to get in an "Oh, THERE he --" before the cover came down, and then followed that up with, "Man, I wonder where Cecil could be? I just saw him!" Levi laughed and flipped up the cover again, leaving it up this time.

And so far, that's been the only acting out Levi's had towards Cecil!

One thing that has changed about Levi's behavior towards me is that he wants to be cuddled more (score!) and he'll pretend to be a baby. He even makes baby noises like Cecil does - not the easy-to-make ones that grown-ups use, but real noises sounding pretty similar to the grunts and squeaks that a small baby makes.

My babies, haha.

Levi didn't like the flash

I'm really happy that Levi likes Cecil so much, and I think Cecil's a pretty lucky kid to have a brother like Levi.

Middle child in a large family

It's generally understood that middle children get the short end of the stick when it comes to family life. However, I really enjoyed being a middle child in a large family, and I felt like there were a lot of positives that came from being in that position.

Of course, there were the usual cons to being a middle child. Some specific things that come to mind are--

-Very few baby pictures of me

-Not many people remember things I specifically did when I was little/a baby

-More restrictions based on mistakes my older siblings made (I'm not faulting my older siblings here)

The positives outweigh the cons, though.

-Having sibling friends both older and younger than me

-Middle was the spot for the "cool kids"

-Learning from the successes of my older siblings

-Learning from the mistakes of my older siblings

-Learning through having responsibility for my younger siblings

-Being able to boss around my younger siblings

Women in engineering--always in high demand?

Recently, someone alluded to the fact that when I was in college, I was one of the rare women in a male-dominated field. The topic of conversation that led to this was how difficult it is for guys at Georgia Tech to get girlfriends and that most eligible women there were flanked by two or three guys.

The nature of the conversation was such that I was able to say that I had the experience of being one of very few women in my classes, but not what it meant for me or really anything else about it.

I've also seen comics about how women in engineering and other male-dominated subjects have to dress down so they don't get unwanted attention, but then get it anyway.

It wasn't like that for me. Mostly the guys just ignored me.

The closest I came to being in high demand was in my physics class, where there was a significantly higher proportion of women than in my regular engineering classes. It wasn't until near the end of the semester that I realized my two friends (who were not studying engineering and were in classes with a much higher guy/girl ratio) that sat on either side of me both were interested in me.

However, that was only one class during one semester out of the dozens of classes I took while in school. The guys just weren't interested in me. I didn't feel bad about it, though--I wasn't interested in them, either. It would have been nice to have more friends, but it's awkward to have friends that are interested in you. They also probably thought I'd think they were interested in me if they were friendly towards me, which would also make them less likely to befriend me.

So, long story short, not all women in male-dominated fields are in high demand. The end.

Awk-ward!

Early in the morning a few days ago, I went outside with Levi to play. He immediately ran to the playground, and I sat on the low concrete wall surrounding the playground to watch. I immediately felt the cold of the concrete on my unsuspecting posterior. I looked down, checking for pants. Yep, they were still there. I felt kind of silly, but at the same time, it had been as if there was nothing there between me and the concrete.

About 10 minutes later, some other mothers came out to the playground with their children. By this time, I was sitting on a bench that although cold, was nothing like the cold of the concrete wall. Another mother was sitting on the bench with me, when one mother started to sit on the concrete wall nearby. I invited her to sit on the bench with me and the other mother, saying, "I know how cold it is over there on the concrete, you should come sit on the bench--it's warmer." We made space and she came over, thanking us.

Then I said it.

I said, "Yeah, I sat on the concrete earlier, and I had to check that I was still wearing pants it was so cold!" No one laughed. No one even said anything commiserating with me about how very cold the concrete was. There was just this awkward silence while I realized that I had said something socially taboo around these parts. Then they changed the subject.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I say something socially awkward, I think about it for days (or months, or if it's really bad, even years) afterward. So I've been thinking about this, mostly about how I just should've stayed quiet. But just this morning, I realized that the main people that I've heard jokes like this from are my mother, her brothers, and my maternal grandmother. I have Scotch-Irish ancestry on that side, and I wonder if my forebears have been making jokes like this through the eons of time. I know when I watch movies set in Scotland, they frequently have jokes like this. So maybe this is a manifestation of my Scottish heritage. Ha!

Not Your Regular Friendship

So, today is the birthday of one of my friends from high school. I haven't really stayed in touch with him (except through Facebook), so I don't really know much about what his life is like now, but he was a really great friend then. He was my friend when I didn't know how to make friends. It meant a lot to me that he was my friend.

We were kind of unusual friends. I was shy, a model student, and strictly kept away from all drugs, including alcohol and tobacco. He was outgoing, an average-to-poor student, and was a regular smoker and drinker, and (I think) had tried illegal drugs a few times.

But those things, thankfully, did not define our friendship. We both got to school about half an hour early, so we'd hang out before school started. Mostly we just talked; sometimes we walked around the halls as we talked, too. He was fun to hang out with, and had a great sense of humor. He thought I was cute, and tried to stop smoking so I'd think he was more attractive. It was difficult because all of his family members also smoked, and I probably told him that I wasn't going to date him even if he stopped smoking. I liked him just fine as a friend who smoked. At that time, the term "friend zoned" wasn't in use. I liked him, but only as a friend.

One time I was working on my calculus homework when my friend got to school. He looked at all the summation symbols and integral signs and said (humorously) that it looked like satanic symbols. The summation sign ( Ʃ ) does look pretty creepy, doesn't it? Anyway, we had a good laugh over that one.

Another time when we were walking through the halls, one of my teachers saw us and gave us a funny look. I'm guessing that the teacher either had my friend in some of his classes or had heard about my friend from other teachers. It made me laugh to myself at the time, because although my friend might be considered a "bad influence," he wasn't a bad influence. He respected what I believed and cared about and didn't try to persuade me to compromise those things.

I keep hearing how important it is for young people to choose friends who have their same values. Yes, I think that's important, but I think that young people will also benefit from having friends that have different values but respect their beliefs. Let's remember to be kind and to stop stereotypes from defining our friendships with others.

Showing love to children

Lately I've been reading different parenting books to get several different perspectives on parenting and what works. I plan on picking and choosing what I think will work best from these books and combining them (and leaving out the the stuff I don't agree with).

The book that I'm currently reading has some good tactics, but there is one sentence that I just outright disagree with:

"Unless you are a grossly neglectful or abusive parent, your kids know that you love them."

Really? I have a story I'm going to share that contradicts this, but it's not this black and white. To the author's credit, the next sentence is this:

"By all means, tell them that you love them, but not when they're pulling a #4 on you." (A #4 is the manipulation tactic that the author is discussing)

___________________________________________ 

So my beef is with the first quote. "Unless you are a grossly neglectful or abusive parent, your kids know that you love them."

No, your children don't know that you love them unless you make it a point to make sure that they do! Here's my story:

Once upon a time, a long time ago when Katie was just a little girl, she didn't want to do her chores. When Mom asked her nicely to do her chores, Katie said she just wanted to keep playing. Her mom started getting upset because Katie always responded like this, and Mom just didn't know what to do. Mom wanted Katie to grow up to be a self-sufficient and responsible adult, and she knew that doing chores would help Katie to achieve this goal. So Mom said, "You are going to do your chores NOW, young lady!" 

Katie logically concluded that Mom must hate her because she was interrupting Katie's fun playing to make her do chores, which Katie didn't want to do. So Katie said what was self-evident: "You hate me! I'm not going to do my chores!"

Mom was heartbroken. How could one of her children that she treasured and adored think that she hated her? This had to be remedied. She said, "No, Katie, I love you! That is why I'm asking you to do your chores--because I love you so much."

This didn't make sense to Katie. It hurt her that her mom said she loved Katie when Mom obviously didn't love her.

(Aside: This is what the author was talking about when he said there are times when you shouldn't tell your child that you love them. Boggles the mind, huh?)

Now, if Katie had extended her logic a little further and hadn't thought about herself quite so much, she might have been able to figure out that Mom actually did love and cherish her. Mom cooked nutritious and filling meals for a crowd of ungrateful and ravenous children--including Katie--without complaining (much), she took her children to interesting places and fun parks, and made sure that birthdays and Christmases were special--which was especially hard in Katie's case, because Katie's birthday was just a few days before Christmas (Mom succeeded, because Katie never felt cheated by having a birthday so close to Christmas except for the fact that she never got summery things for her birthday, like a water gun). Mom also took Katie seriously, which was vastly important to that little girl. There were many other ways that Mom acted out her love for Katie, too many to list all of them. 

The point is that even with all this love showered on her, Katie didn't know that her mother loved her. Her mom was not "a grossly neglectful or abusive parent," but somehow Katie did not know she was loved. The problem was that her mom was uncomfortable with--or maybe just not in the habit of--telling her family that she loved them.

I believe that Katie hearing Mom say that she loved her at appropriate times would have solved Katie's problem, but not all children experience love in the same way.

I know a mother of nine children, and her children adore her. It is obvious that they each know of their mother's love. How does she do it, especially with NINE children? Well, I asked her one day. She was very modest about it and gave me some really great advice. The thing that stuck out the most to me was that she pays attention to how her children show love to her and she reciprocates love in a similar manner. If one child is always writing little love notes to his mom, then the mom writes love notes back. If one child always wants to do something with her mom, then the mom will make time to spend with that child. If a child gives gifts to the mother, the mom will give small gifts back. This really struck me because one of the biggest life lessons I learned on my mission is that everyone is different and because of that, people need to be treated differently to communicate properly with them. 

Anyway, I'm getting off subject. The point is, don't just love your children. Make your children know that they are loved. Understand that what makes you feel loved won't necessarily be the key to make them feel loved, so pay attention to how they love you and respond in kind.

Everyone Needs a Friend

The ward (congregation) that I attend here is HUGE. Every Sunday, the chapel is packed. Since we're so close to BYU, a majority of the members of the ward are BYU students or married to one. That means many of the members are young couples without kids and that the ward is very transient; people move out every semester and more people move in to take their place. It's hard to get to know others, and a lot of the time you don't even know who's new and who has been living in the ward for 4 months because there are just so many new people.

If you have one or more children, you know that kids are a big icebreaker. Other moms are super easy to talk to and relate with. You have funny stories to tell each other, and other moms are interested when you tell them all those awesome things your child is learning that may bore other people (e.g. "My child can grab things now! Look at him grab his pacifier. Isn't he cute?" or "He's going through a growth spurt. It's been hard.")

However, if you don't have kids, it's harder to make friends. And for those people who teach the young children during Sunday school, it's even harder to meet people, much less make friends. So most of the people in my ward have a handicap when it comes to making friends.

I like it when people feel included. I went so long in middle school and even high school feeling that no one cared enough to get to know me that ever since then, I've gone out of my way to include people that have been forgotten. I know what it feels like to not have a friend, and I know that Everyone Needs a Friend.

Because of this, I try to get to know as many people as I can. It's kind of exhausting. I want to get to know so many people (and there are so many people worth knowing in my ward!), but I really don't think I could handle entertaining on a weekly (or more frequent) basis. I don't think Levi would like it much, either. Since there are so many people in the ward, it's kind of impractical to get to know all of them at church. How do I pick which ones to be friends with? Who are the people that need a friend the most?

I've come to the conclusion that unlike other wards or branches that I've served in, there isn't enough of me and people like me (with regards to friend-making) to go around. There are other people like me in the ward who strive to be friendly, and there still aren't enough people making friends. People still feel like they don't belong in the ward, or that nobody cares about them. Thankfully, home and visiting teaching have a strong emphasis in our stake, so most people know at least one other family.

The solution here is not to make the ward less transient or to get rid of the BYU students. The solution here is that everyone should go out of their way to get to know people in their ward (or class, or workplace, or neighborhood, or whatever it may be). That way, more people will have friends. Not as many people will be left out or forgotten. More people will feel loved. More people will be happier.

Go out and make a new friend today--it will change your life and theirs.

On Thick Skin and Hurt

I read this today. It was written by a friend in reference to verbal and emotional abuse she experienced at the hands of a family member:

"My skin needs to be 1,000x thicker if I'm to live in this house."

I'm quoting it here, because lately I've been thinking about an experience that illustrates my "thick skin" -- or at least the illusion of it. This isn't really the kind of thing that I usually post, but for some odd reason, I feel like it should be posted. Here it is:

As many of you know, I graduated with a BS in mechanical engineering. What you may not know is that in a discipline (engineering) that is known for being mostly dominated by men, the more specific mechanical engineering is the major that statistically has the smallest percentage of women in it. I have been the only woman in a class of about 30-40 students. Usually there were one or two other women in my classes, but most of my classmates were male. This meant that I was the only woman in most of the class groups I was in and I was the only female in my study group. Sounds great for dating odds, right? However, I was not attracted to them, and if any of the guys were attracted to me, they didn't let me know. The closest any of them came was one guy that I considered my friend who told me (voluntarily) that he could never date me because he'd hate to be in a relationship with a girl that was smarter than him. Was that supposed to be a compliment?

Anyway, since there was such a small percentage of women--and especially women that they weren't trying to impress--the guys seemed to feel free to do and say guy things. Remember that I went to school at a secular university, not BYU. I got used to ignoring most of what they said that wasn't related to class work.

I found it difficult to find friends, since I didn't have similar interests to the people in my classes. Maybe my classmates thought I was stuck up, but I tried hard to let them know that I wasn't. Thankfully I earned good grades, so a lot of the guys were nice to me so I'd help them study. The study groups were helpful to me, too, don't get me wrong! I would have done much more poorly in my classes if I hadn't studied with them. However, the guys felt like I was doing them a big favor by studying with them, so I guess they appreciated it.

One time during finals as my study group was studying, one of the guys who was prone to lewd comments started making "jokes" about the usual things. I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt, hoping that the jokes didn't mean what I thought they might, and laughed at them half-heartedly in order to fit in. I was uncomfortable with his jokes, but didn't want to show it.

Finally, he made a lewd suggestion to me. I was horrified, but was so used to ignoring comments and pretending that I didn't notice certain things that I wasn't sure how to react. I wanted to let him know that that kind of talk was COMPLETELY unacceptable and that I wouldn't stand for it. Although it was (and still is) utterly against my nature to make a scene, I knew that was the only way to get through to him. I told him never to say something like that to me again, picked up my things, and left the room with as much dignity as I could. At that point, I wished I was the kind of person to yell and deliver scathing remarks to make him feel as bad as I wanted to. However, I never had much gift for good comebacks. Nonetheless, I hoped that my actions made him feel as awful as I wanted him to. That experience was awful.

I had such a yucky, dirty feeling even after I left the room that I couldn't concentrate on studying for my next final, which was in about an hour's time. During the time I was trying to study, a member of the study group that was actually my friend had found me and apologized for what had happened. I appreciated the gesture, but since he wasn't at fault it didn't make me feel any better. After about 5 or 10 minutes of trying to study in one of the computer labs, I gave up and went to the LDS Institute building.

It was like night and day! As soon as I entered the building, one of my friends greeted me with a smile and told me how happy she was every time she saw me (thanks, Megan Prack!). My spirits were uplifted. After some visiting and de-stressing by playing the piano, I was able to do some more last-minute studying and took my final with an undisturbed mind.

The classmate that had made the lewd comments still made the same kind of comments after that incident, but none of them were directed at me, thankfully. At one point, I remember him telling me that I was a really kind person. At the time, I didn't connect it to this incident (and it may not be connected at all), but maybe, just maybe, my actions made him think twice about what he'd said. When he told me that I was a kind person, I remember replying, "Well, I try." I didn't expect much of a reaction to that, but he looked at me like it was a novel idea. "Nice people try to be nice? Who'da thunk? I thought they were born that way!"

Mountain Beauty

Austin and I went hiking on Saturday for a date. It was gorgeous, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself! I have been hankering after a good hike for ages.

I was surprised that I wasn't more out of breath, but after the initial "Whew! Austin, can we slow down?" I was fine. The trees are changing color, and they were breathtaking. I took a picture at what felt like every turn (but there were a lot more turns than I took pictures, so be glad I didn't actually take a picture at every turn!)

I love the rugged beauty shown in the above picture

Austin said he was making a face, but it's hard to tell. I love the yellow tree and the moss on the rock behind it.

I took this picture because there were some people ahead of us on the trail and Austin and I were waiting for them to pass. It helped that the tree was pretty, too.

I thought these trees were really interesting because their bark looks like a birch tree's, but these are evergreens. I'd never seen anything like it before.

Glorious!

This is the point on the trail where we decided to turn around. I wanted to keep going, but Austin had been bored and hungry for the last 10 minutes or so, so we decided to turn back.

I thought this outcropping of rock was especially neat.

Dry riverbed

Like I said, beauty.

Going down again

You can see Provo Lake there between the trees

I thought the way these trees were growing was really original of them, lol!

If you want to see bigger versions of the picture, just click on the one you want to see in greater detail, and it will give you an almost full-screen view of the lovely scenery.

Friends, I admire you

I admire so many of my friends! I see your positive attributes, and benefit from trying to emulate them. Each of you have exerted a positive influence on me. I wish I could go into detail about all of you, but I only have time to name a few:

Hilary Thomas: When we were in Young Women's together, Hilary was very outgoing and fun. Not only that, but she also went out of her way to include shy Katie White in the fun. I learned from watching her example how to be outgoing and include others.

Ingrid Sorenson: What a mother! This amazing woman has 9 children, and looks like she's 30. She is fun and caring. She goes out of her way to spend individual time with each of her children. Somehow she has mastered the balance of being a fun mom while maintaining discipline in her large family. I aspire to be a mother like her someday.
Side note: 'Maintaining discipline' does not equate with perfectly behaved children. I don't think those are possible, especially if they're normal, well-adjusted kids.

Becky Gentry: All of my older sisters have influenced me to be a better person, and I look up to each of them even now, but Becky has had the biggest influence on me. We shared a room when I was younger, and she taught me by her example to study the scriptures daily and to pray to Heavenly Father each day. As a direct result of those habits, I know that Heavenly Father loves me and cares about me.

Jean Marie Place (soon to be Gatica!): If you're familiar with the character of Jane from Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, then you have a good idea of what dear Jean Marie is like. Like Jane, Jean Marie has a hard time finding fault with anyone, and when she does find fault, those people did something really awful. Jean Marie is not a bit self-centered, and has an amazing ability to be interested in others--more so than I've seen in anyone else that I've met. I admire Jean Marie so much for her Christ-like love for others and her generosity. I aspire to be as kind and loving as she is.

... And there are so many more! I have seen so many amazing examples in the wards (and branch) of the Church that I've been in, in my family, in my friends from school, and in my friends from work.  I thank you  for being such good influences in my life.

Water Skiing with Granddad Jerry

After writing my post about quilting with Grandma Izzy, I thought it would be nice to make a post about something I did with each of my grandparents. The big thing that we grandkids did with Granddad Jerry--besides listening to fun stories from his childhood--was learning how to, and then actually water skiing with him.

Granddad was very patient teaching us. We'd start out standing on land, holding on to the handle while he taught us how to hold the handle and stand correctly so we wouldn't fall over once we were skiing. Then we'd go out to the boat, and once we got to deep enough water, we would put on the skis and slide into the water. It was fun trying to get a perfect score (smile, wave, no splash).

The beginners would learn how to ski on the barefoot boom. It was easier because you didn't have the extra factor of the rope going slack (and therefore losing your balance) and you could also hear Granddad coaching you, since it was right next to the boat.

Me learning to ski on just one ski. It's a lot harder than two!

Eventually, we'd get a short length of rope tied to the boom to ease us in to skiing behind the boat with the full length of rope.

I started skiing when I was about 8 years old, I think. It took me a long time to finally get the courage to cross the wake--the small wave created by the movement of the boat--but once I did, there was no stopping me. You do get a nice thrill when you cross the wake, especially if you do it fast enough! }:)

The older kids learned how to do tricks--skiing with the handle between your knees (no hands!), turning around 360 degrees, lifting up one ski for the "skier salute", just to name a few. I did a couple of them, but the skier salute was the only one that I felt safe enough doing to do more than once or twice.

One of my favorite things to do was to "double up". We would set up another rope and two people would ski behind the boat at the same time. I think you can see why I enjoyed this so much:

Hannah spraying Seth

When we were done skiing, we'd head back to my grandparent's house. Granddad taught us that we should always thank the person driving the boat. We did every time that we remembered, and would use his special nickname that we had for him--Mr. Nice Guy. One person would remember to say "Thanks Mr. Nice Guy, for driving the boat!" and then there'd be a chorus of "Thanks, Mr. Nice Guy!" as we all tried to make Granddad feel appreciated so he'd take us out again.

Thank you, Mr. Nice Guy, for all the fun times!

Quilting with Grandma Izzy

I have really wonderful grandparents, on both sides of my family. My mother's parents left a legacy in the (small) town I grew up in--many people I met knew of my grandparents and admired them.

I lived just a short walk down the road from my maternal grandparents, so my siblings and I would go over to their house often to visit, to be babysat, or to help in their garden. I even took piano lessons at their house!

One of my favorite things to do at Grandma Izzy's house was work on the quilt she was currently working on. I was the youngest of all my sisters coordinated enough to do the stitch work on the quilts (no, they were not tied quilts!), and while we quilted, Grandma would tell stories. Boy, could Grandma tell stories! Unfortunately, I don't remember them, but I do remember how much I enjoyed spending time with her and my sisters. Eventually, we made one quilt for each sister except for me--I think people were running out of steam by the time they got to me, and I don't remember telling anyone how much I wanted a quilt.

Quilting with Grandma was something I looked forward to and enjoyed doing with my sisters. I could feel her love for all of us, and I loved the family bond that came from it.

"Summer People"

This past summer, Austin and I were "Summer people." We were in an area just for the summer. When we arrived, no one knew us, and we didn't know them.

We decided that although we were in a position where we weren't really expected to invest much time or effort into our ward, that we would! We requested our records on our first Sunday there, and introduced ourselves to people. We made sure that everyone knew that we were happy and willing to help. We paid tithing and fast offerings. We came to a ward building clean-up the first month we were there, and the first ward temple trip that came up. We made it a point to attend church activities. We had the missionaries over for dinner regularly, and gave them a few rides. We got to give an investigator a ride, too! People became comfortable asking us to serve in the ward even though we didn't have callings. Austin was asked to teach in Priesthood at least twice. He was also asked to give (and did give) a talk.

I played prelude one Sunday before Relief Society started and was asked to fill in for the regular RS pianist while she was gone on vacation for a few weeks. It was a wonderful blessing. I made friends in Relief Society, and fellowshipped a new member. She would hold Levi while I played the piano, and she really seemed to enjoy the opportunity to serve. I got close to another member of the ward whose children are mostly all grown up (but not married yet), and she loved playing with Levi. I loved having the opportunity to enjoy Relief Society without being distracted by keeping Levi out of trouble.

When we left, many of the ward members told us how sorry they were to see us go. The bishop's wife told us that when the "Summer people" leave, they usually don't mind so much. However, she said she was sorry to see us go because we had been so involved in the ward and because we cared so much about the ward.

We felt so good about our summer experience with that ward when we left.



Now, let me say this: even though the ward didn't mind much when the other "Summer people" left, they were still very welcoming to everyone. It was an incredibly friendly ward and I was impressed at how they handled the situation of having many people there just for the summer, who wouldn't be able to hold callings or do much for the ward long-term. We loved the Christ-like attitude of that ward.

It's Christmas In July

I woke up this morning so incredibly excited that I could not go back to sleep. I knew some sound of Levi's had woken me up, but he didn't make any more noises.

I started analyzing my feelings, and the only one I could come up with was that it felt like Christmas. Seriously. Christmas still has that delicious anticipatory feeling about it for me, even though I don't care as much about the gifts.

And why, do you ask, does it feel like Christmas this muggy July morning?

Let me show you:

I SEE MY FAMILY TODAY!!!!!!

Ok, so I won't see all of them today, but today is the beginning of it all. And the anticipation is killing me!


Also, I'm inordinately pleased with myself for being able to fit all of Levi's and my things for a week in these two bags:

What? Don't look at me like that! Clothes are squishier than you think ;)

A Love Story

I didn't want to fall in love with my husband.

Oh, no. I sure didn't! There were so many things working against him: I met him on my mission, he lived far away, he was younger than me (still is, surprise!!!), and had a lot of schooling left to do.

But I couldn't help myself. He was irresistible to me [still is :)].

I met him while we were both missionaries in Las Vegas. He was witty, cute, and my district leader. He was nerdy. He wasn't cocky. He was kind. After a few weeks, I had hope that if someone existed like this that there might be another one of them out there--somewhere--in the world, and there was hope that I'd get married. Because, of course, Austin (or shall I say Elder Whipple? Meow.*) was out of the question.

Even though he was completely out of the question, I resolved to write him when I returned home from the mission. Oh, the irony.

I waited a WHOLE WEEK after I got home to write him. You know, so he wouldn't get creeped out by me writing him the moment I got home. I was quite delighted when I got a reply from him--he had written me right away! We exchanged six** letters--three letters each--before he came home. The only encouragement that he gave me was the promptness of his replies. I tried to keep my letters very friendly but not flirty in the least so he wouldn't get trunky. Those letters were not "juicy" at all, but they were so funny!

I started dating someone in the single's branch that I was attending, so the last letter I wrote had a postscript informing Austin that I had just started dating someone (let's call him Steve). I wrote this as soon as I started dating the guy; I believe in being open and honest. In the postscript, I also asked if Austin and I could still be friends.
A week passed, and things weren't going super great with Steve. I wasn't even sure that he liked me! (why did he want to date me? I don't know.) I tried to break up with him, but he talked me out of it. Another week went by. At the end of that week, Steve and I had planned a date: We were going to have dinner (prepared by yours truly!) then go to an a capella concert performed by the talented men of Voice Male. Dinner was ready a little early, so I got on Facebook while I waited for Steve. I saw a notification indicating that I had a friend request. As I moved my mouse to click on the notification, I wondered who would send me a friend request. I had already linked to my new friends in the branch and friends from the mission, so I had no idea who it could be.

It was Austin Whipple! I of course accepted the friend request and looked at his page. As I looked, I had many fond memories of good times back on the mission. This was in spite of a profile picture from when he was in high school and one that I thought was very unflattering. Since then, Austin's removed the picture, so you won't find it. Anyway, even with that picture that didn't look much like my friend (Austin), the memories came flooding back to me.

At this moment, I heard a knock at the door. I jumped up from the computer, excited to spend a fun evening with Steve. When I opened the door, I had a happy expression on my face. I saw Steve (who I was expecting), and felt my expression change. I knew that he had seen the disappointment that I felt before I could cover it up. Understandably, he was confused.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Yes," I replied, and invited him in. My mind was racing. I was disappointed to see Steve, my boyfriend, but incredibly happy at the thought of renewing a friendship with a friend from the mission. Something was wrong here. What was I to do?

I didn't say anything during the meal, but decided that a breakup was in order. Not having a large repertoire of breakup experience to call upon but knowing that they were painful, I wanted to do it nicely. Long story short, at the end of the date we broke up, and it turns out that Steve was ready for a breakup too.

I didn't think that things were going anywhere with Austin, but we continued sending messages and e-mails back and forth to continue our correspondence. Austin was real smooth here and asked if I wanted to keep writing letters. Of course I said yes and gave a hint that he should call me. Disappointingly, he didn't ask for my number, so I kept hinting, getting more and more obvious until I finally gave him my number. Without him asking for it. Seriously--I told you he's irresistible to me!

From there it escalated. We talked on the phone several times a week and sent frequent e-mails and Facebook messages. Becky, my roommate at the time, called our phone conversations "phone dates," but I was in denial (how?) and insisted that nothing was going to come of it; we were just friends. I also didn't want a long distance relationship, because I thought they were silly. I had seen enough of my friends in long distance relationships that were disintegrating, and I wanted none of that!

I told Austin that when he started school at BYU, he should go on lots of dates. I didn't want him to feel obligated to continue our friendship or to feel that because we spent so much time together that he shouldn't date other girls. He said he would, but when he got to BYU, he didn't go on any dates. And he didn't for a couple weeks. Finally, Austin told me that while he was looking, he couldn't find anyone that he wanted to date; none of them could hold a candle to me. How romantic!

After two and a half months of denial, I was finally able to admit to myself that I really liked this guy and that things might work out. We decided to become "official" and I knew I had met Mr. Right before a month was up. I didn't tell him, of course, but he came to the same conclusion about me, and we were engaged a little over a week after he arrived in South Carolina to "woo" me, as he says.

Now, four years after we met (has it really been that long?? we've only been married for a little over 1.5 years), we are so in love. Austin is my best friend, and I am his. We love each other.


A little timeline:
August 2008: We meet
August 2009: I start writing Austin
November 2009: We start talking on the phone
January 2010: We become "official"
May 2010: We become engaged
December 2010: We're married!!!
November 2011: Levi is born
July 2012: Now


*Meow is an expression that I picked up from one of my companions (she's from Hong Kong). It is used whenever something is awkward.
**I think. I wrote the first and the last letters, though, so I don't really know how it could be an even number! Maybe there were 7 letters. I'm pretty sure I have 3 from him, so that would make sense.

Know the Child

The kids in my family loved going to the library, and we would go often. I tried to keep track of my books, but every now and then, they would be returned a little bit late, and I'd have a fine to pay. When I returned books late, I'd bring some money to pay my fine. Otherwise, I never really thought to bring money with me to the library, because I usually had turned in all my books in on time. Any time that I had a fine that I didn't know about, however, I'd ask my parents to help me pay the fine. Usually they would. Sometimes they would make sure that I paid them back (it really did foster good habits, even though I'm sure it was a hassle for my parents to keep track of all the kids that owed them spare change).

One time we went to the library, and I didn't find out until I was checking out my books at the counter that I had a fine. My mom had already gone out to the car, so I told the librarian I'd be right back. I ran outside and asked Mom if she would give me the money for the fine (it was $1.50 or less). She said no. I was heartbroken! I was really excited about the books I had picked out to read, and now I couldn't read them. I was so disappointed that I started to cry.

"You're just trying to get me to pay the fine."

 

"What?" I thought. Then I said, "No, I'm not," through my tears. And I really wasn't. I was crying just because I was that disappointed. I even tried not to cry, because it was embarrassing.

Mom ended up giving me the money because she realized that I was sincere and she felt sorry for me (looking back I wonder if it was more the time spent at the library and not the money that was the issue--maybe she had somewhere else to go.).

The point I want to make with this story is that it's important to know people as individuals, even if they're children. If a child never manipulates and then an isolated incident occurs where that child seems to be manipulating to get what he or she wants, then that child is probably not trying to manipulate you. I know that when I was little, I wasn't devious enough to manipulate to get what I wanted (besides, it probably wouldn't have worked). 

There are many more characteristics that a child may have or not have that should affect how you interact with him or her. Be sure to get to know children before you make a hasty judgement.

Levi Is so Much Like His Dad

Levi looks so much like Austin. And it's in all the obvious ways, too.

-Levi's eyes are like Austin's. If Austin didn't wear glasses, more people would notice this.
-Austin's fingers and toes are double jointed. So are Levi's.
-There's room for a whole 'nother toe between Levi's big toe and second toe. Austin's toes are the same way.
-Levi can make his tongue go pointy. It's impossible for me, but it's the default look for Austin's tongue (at least when it's sticking out of his mouth)
-Levi has a crevice behind his ear that's impossible to clean/get to.
-Levi spits up all the time (Austin did when he was a baby--but not anymore :)
-Levi only has one dimple, and it's on the same side that Austin's lone dimple is on.
-Levi has a very pronounced cleft chin.
-Levi only has one tooth. Austin .... oh. hehe. :)

On the flip side, I have seen 2 ways that Levi is like me, and they're both in the hair:

Levi has a widow's peak
Levi has a cowlick in the front of his hair.

And you might not even know what a widow's peak or a cowlick is ...