Levi's Latest and Greatest

Levi has a shape-sorter toy. It looks like this:

Picture from Amazon.com

He loves putting objects into containers, so he's liked this for a long time.  However, he's always needed help finding the right hole for the shape that he's holding--Austin and I have helped him to find the right ones when he plays with the shape sorter.

A week or two ago, I noticed that Levi had put some of his other toys inside the shape sorter after I'd finished playing with him. I thought it was cute, but didn't think much of it. Then today as I was playing with him, I watched as Levi held the shape that fits in the circular hole with one hand and turned the ball over and over with the other hand, looking for the circular hole. When he found it, he put the shape in and I was so proud! He's such a smart boy :)

Trees can have identical twins

Today I learned (TIL - I can never remember what the acronym means, so I'm reminding myself in writing) that a grove of aspens are ALL genetically identical! What. and Wow. The way it works is that they all sprout from the same root system, which spreads underground over time. So these trees aren't really damaged by forest fires, because they just come right back up in a younger and healthier version. Amazing, right?

Here's a great quote from the Wikipedia article on them:

"Lately, aspens have an increased popularity in forestry, mostly because of their fast growth rate and ability to regenerate from sprouts, making the reforestation after harvesting much cheaper, since no planting or sowing is required."

Photo from Wikimedia Commons

Yummy food and yucky pictures

Once upon a time, I made some soup and it was A-MAY-SING. Seriously, it was SO good! I wanted to remember how I'd made it, so I decided to write down the recipe. I knew my blog would be a place I'd be able to find it again, so I wrote it up and published a post with the recipe for this delicious soup.

Unfortunately, I also thought it'd be a good idea to take a picture of it and put it on the blog. Big mistake! Just look at how unappetizing this soup looks:

Yeah, sure, I guess it looks okay. However, the inspiration for the picture came from my friend who does a food blog. Her pictures look like this:

Zuppa Toscana

And this:

Southwestern Chicken and Corn Chowder

And she takes these pictures with a camera just like mine! Well, someone has a natural talent, and it's not me. It makes me laugh whenever I think that my picture would be anything as yummy-looking as hers. Anyway, check out her blog! She shares fun stories with each of her recipes and tips on what may or may not go wrong. She does more than just soups, too, of course. I just used hers because they're a better foil for my picture.

My Levi Boy, the Walking Wonder

My little boy has started walking! He took his first step on Saturday night. He took another the next morning. He practiced again yesterday, and he actually walked, yes, walked! From one location to another! Without falling! I just about squealed I was so excited. And today, the sweetest thing happened: Levi was standing next to a chair and I was a few feet away. Levi let go of the chair and just toddled on over to me. And -then-  he hugged me! It was the cutest thing. Of course I hugged him back. Later I stood him on the floor close to Austin's chair and he walked to Austin. What a big boy he's getting to be! I am so proud of him. He really is growing up.

Everyone Needs a Friend

The ward (congregation) that I attend here is HUGE. Every Sunday, the chapel is packed. Since we're so close to BYU, a majority of the members of the ward are BYU students or married to one. That means many of the members are young couples without kids and that the ward is very transient; people move out every semester and more people move in to take their place. It's hard to get to know others, and a lot of the time you don't even know who's new and who has been living in the ward for 4 months because there are just so many new people.

If you have one or more children, you know that kids are a big icebreaker. Other moms are super easy to talk to and relate with. You have funny stories to tell each other, and other moms are interested when you tell them all those awesome things your child is learning that may bore other people (e.g. "My child can grab things now! Look at him grab his pacifier. Isn't he cute?" or "He's going through a growth spurt. It's been hard.")

However, if you don't have kids, it's harder to make friends. And for those people who teach the young children during Sunday school, it's even harder to meet people, much less make friends. So most of the people in my ward have a handicap when it comes to making friends.

I like it when people feel included. I went so long in middle school and even high school feeling that no one cared enough to get to know me that ever since then, I've gone out of my way to include people that have been forgotten. I know what it feels like to not have a friend, and I know that Everyone Needs a Friend.

Because of this, I try to get to know as many people as I can. It's kind of exhausting. I want to get to know so many people (and there are so many people worth knowing in my ward!), but I really don't think I could handle entertaining on a weekly (or more frequent) basis. I don't think Levi would like it much, either. Since there are so many people in the ward, it's kind of impractical to get to know all of them at church. How do I pick which ones to be friends with? Who are the people that need a friend the most?

I've come to the conclusion that unlike other wards or branches that I've served in, there isn't enough of me and people like me (with regards to friend-making) to go around. There are other people like me in the ward who strive to be friendly, and there still aren't enough people making friends. People still feel like they don't belong in the ward, or that nobody cares about them. Thankfully, home and visiting teaching have a strong emphasis in our stake, so most people know at least one other family.

The solution here is not to make the ward less transient or to get rid of the BYU students. The solution here is that everyone should go out of their way to get to know people in their ward (or class, or workplace, or neighborhood, or whatever it may be). That way, more people will have friends. Not as many people will be left out or forgotten. More people will feel loved. More people will be happier.

Go out and make a new friend today--it will change your life and theirs.

Loving Mothers

I recently (about 2 months ago) read a book--Difficult Mothers by Terri Apter. It is, of course, about having a difficult mother. The book describes in some detail how to cope with a difficult mother, but it seemed to me that for the most part, it defined what a difficult mother is and described five different ways in which mothers can be difficult. The book was somewhat instructive, but it wasn't something that I'd go out of my way to say, "Read this! It helps!" to someone who had a difficult relationship with their mother. However, the author did put forth one idea that I thought hit the nail on the head, and I paraphrase:

"There are two kinds of mothers. Difficult mothers and good-enough mothers. Good-enough mothers make mistakes and frustrate their children, but children have more good experiences and memories with these mothers than bad ones. Children with difficult mothers have had a more negative than positive experience with their mothers."

Another thing she said also rang true:

"Sometimes a mother can be good-enough for one child but difficult for another." 

_______________________________________

For me, I had more good experiences than bad with my mother. She was good-enough. Yes, there were odd things she did and restrictions out that wazoo, but I knew she loved me. I knew she appreciated me. I knew that she prayed for each of my siblings and me individually every night, which is saying something, since there are 10 of us. I knew that I was important to her.

I remember her calling me her "jewel" many times when I helped in the kitchen.

I remember her singing "When We're Helping We're Happy" when we did work around the yard when I was little. I would sing, too, and I was happy.

I remember her playing games with me when I was little, and giving me "horsey" rides on her leg.

I remember her staying up late so she'd be awake when I got home from a social event when I was a teenager or spending the summer at home when I was in college.

I remember her encouraging me to have root beer floats in the kitchen with my friends after a group date while she went to a different part of the house and did something else.

I remember her knowing everything about birds and flowers--or at least what seemed like everything! I loved it when she'd spend time with me telling me about the different varieties of plants and animals that surrounded us.

I remember picnics in the park after kindergarten while we waited for the other kids to get out of school. The big kids were so jealous.

She helped me forge incredibly strong ties with my siblings by encouraging us to play and spend time together.

I remember going on field trips with her and the other kids that I'm sure required a lot of planning.

I remember that Mom waited on my siblings and me hand and foot when any of us were sick.

Mom taught me honesty. She taught me integrity. She taught me to love the Lord. She gave me the tools to become the person I am today, and I like the person I've become.

There are a lot of good memories. However, several of my siblings have or had a difficult relationship with our mom, and I understand why. I think the hardest thing about having her as a mother was her unpredictable mood. If she was in a good mood, then it was usually pretty easy to get along with her. If she was in a bad mood, we warned each other about it and tried to stay out of her way. She would yell at us and yell at us some more to get us to do things she wanted. It got especially bad as Dad and Mom's relationship started to deteriorate more and more. I felt so bad for the younger kids who still lived at home. Mom was frustrated because they were rebellious and disrespectful, and they were rebellious and disrespectful because they were yelled at and criticized all the time. I talked to Mom about it and told her that the kids would respond better if she used different tactics. She told me that she had tried other tactics, but they just didn't work. The only thing that got the kids to do anything (chores, homework, adhering to Mom's moral standards) was intimidation. I tried telling her that she needed to be more consistent, but I'm sure it was incredibly difficult to change an ingrained habit that seemed to have results (at least in the short term) when she didn't have anyone she could turn to emotionally that could buoy her up when she got discouraged.

I never before realized how isolated my mother was. She didn't have a good relationship with Dad by that time. Her children avoided her. She didn't have friends from church (Mom has always been kind of shy). Her brothers and their families were all busy with their own things. She didn't have friends at work because she didn't work outside the home. No wonder she was always cranky.

Anyway. I'm rambling now, but sometimes I am afraid that I will resort to the same tactics that Mom did. Even though I logically know that other tactics work better, what if I let frustration get the best of me when Levi is misbehaving? That behavior is what was modeled for me. It would be so much easier. Lately, I've caught myself becoming really frustrated when Levi has been cranky all day and nothing I do helps. How do I stop the cycle?

It's a hypothetical question. I know how to stop the cycle. Learn all I can from parenting books about positive discipline, and apply it. Make sure I have reminders where I'll see them frequently. Recognize the built-in rewards my beautiful, trusting, and well-adjusted (or at least that is how I hope they'll turn out!) children give me when I apply the principles well. Teach my children as Heavenly Father teaches his children--teach them what is right, but let them make mistakes. Make sure that my emotional, spiritual, and physical needs are met as well as theirs. Lean on my husband for support. Talk to him openly about my fears (which I have done), ask for advice, and get reassurance. Pray for help.

______________________________

There is a dual meaning in the title of this post. You can interpret "Loving Mothers" as mothers who are loving or as children loving their mothers. I think this post is about both.

Computer/Computer Security Facts

Some things I've learned as a wife of a computer/computer security guy:

• IP addresses are loosely based on location. So when you go online and you see ads for the city that's closest to you, that's why. (e.g. Columbia mom loses 5,000 lbs!)
• Your bank doesn't save your password. That's the reason that you have to create a new password every time you forget your old one. What they do save is a hash of your password. The hash is created by encrypting your password with a special formula, which spits out a really long string of characters. The same encryption key is used every time you enter in your password, so the same hash is created. Your bank will compare the hash that you sent in with what they have on file. If it's the same, then you're signed in! (computer people, sorry if I didn't get this exactly right! but I do know I have the general idea)
• A lot of malicious "hacking" is done through social engineering. In this context, that essentially means tricking people to reveal their personal information instead of putting viruses or back doors on computers
• Faxing is more secure than e-mailing.
• There is something called a "throttle" that you can use when you're downloading a large file so you don't take up all of the bandwidth available to you. This is useful if other people in your house are also using the internet.
• Rebooting your computer sometimes fixes problems because it resets everything running on your computer. It makes sense, but I didn't think about it enough to make the connection although I've used this technique plenty of times.
• A lot of malicious software (such as viruses) are propagated through porn sites--yet another reason to avoid porn like the plague.

I'm planning on adding additional facts to this list as I learn more, but I don't see me updating it all that often. I've had it as a draft ever since last summer, and I've only added two bullet points since then. Feel free to add any interesting facts that you know down in the comments!

When I'm asked about LDS temples

Columbia, SC temple, where I was married

When I received my temple endowments, I was living with a friend who was not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She and I also spent a lot of time with some wonderful non-denominational Christian friends who lived in a different unit in our apartment building. All three of our friends  were very passionate in their faith in Jesus Christ and lived accordingly. My roommate and our friends were very supportive of me: When I came back from the temple worthiness interviews with my branch president and my stake president, they asked how I did and if I passed. All were happy to find out that I had passed, even though I had assured them beforehand that I had no qualms about whether I would pass or not. They even got a card for me! I still have it and am filled with warm fuzzies every time I read it and the personal notes they wrote to me in it.

Understandably, my roommate and my other friends were curious about this new thing that I was experiencing, and asked me questions about the temple after I got my endowments. It was a new experience for me, and I wasn't sure how I could sum up my experiences or what was okay to share with them. The answer I gave them was unsatisfactory to me and unsatisfactory to them: "I can't really talk about it." I felt like I had let them down and hadn't given them any idea of how special the temple is. Ever since that time, I have thought about what I should have told them. This post is finally my answer to their questions. I have included links to official statements the Church has made about temples and I've also included some of my personal thoughts and feelings about temples.

I'd like to start with a video showing temples--outside and in--with a beautiful song about feelings experienced inside the temple, put together by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints:

Mormon.org has a section on temples and temple work, too.

The FAQs they answer are these:

1. Can a husband and wife be together forever? Do Mormons believe that families will live together in heaven?
2. What are Mormon Temples used for?
3. What is the difference between attending church and the temple?
4. Why are only some Mormons allowed into temples? Is there something secret going on in Mormon Temples? What goes on in Mormon Temples?
5. Why do Mormons perform baptisms for the dead?

Now I'll explain some things that are special about the temple to me. First off, the principles taught in the temple are not new and are not secret. Before entering the temple, I had already learned all the doctrine taught in the temple during my regular church meetings and in my personal study. Both of these methods are open to anyone and everyone, members of the Church or not. On a related note, if I hadn't had the preparation of regular church worship and personal study, the temple would not be a special place to me, and the things taught therein would be empty of meaning.

Second, the temple is a place I make promises to God. I promise to obey his commandments, to devote myself to building up Christ's kingdom on the earth, and to be faithful. It is a wonderful reminder of our promises to God. When I was serving my mission, I cannot tell you how many times I saw members of the Church put their own wants and desires to the side in order to serve Jesus Christ. When I would comment on it or thank them for their service to me, they would just smile and say, "I've been to the temple," meaning that they had made promises in the temple to serve God and they took those promises seriously. Their actions proved their words.

Third, I *love* the feeling of peace that I have as soon as I walk on to temple grounds. I noticed this most at the Las Vegas temple. It was such a contrast from the loud billboards and dirty feeling of the city. The hustle and bustle of a large sprawling city completely disappeared on the temple grounds and in the temple. This was not just because the grounds were immaculate or that each temple is beautiful with lovely flowers and landscaping. Temples really are the house of the Lord, and He dwells there. I feel His presence when I am there. Going to the temple in Las Vegas felt like going home, which was a rich resource of comfort for me during difficult times on my mission.

Las Vegas temple

That is how I wish I had explained the temple to my friends. I hope they see this post and understand a little bit more about temples because of it. For everyone that reads this post, please feel free to share it with any of your friends that would appreciate it.

~Katie