Ham Pasta Yums

So, this is pretty much the most delicious thing I've ever tasted. Austin and I both wish we had two stomachs just so we could eat more every time I make this. I'm starting to drool just thinking about it.

The story is like this: We had lots and lots of leftover ham from Christmas, and I didn't know what to do with it. I thought it might taste good with pasta, but I didn't have a recipe, so I did a quick internet search and got this recipe. It is amazing and delicious and almost everything I could ask for in a pasta dish.

I didn't have all the ingredients on hand, so I tweaked it a little bit the first time I made the recipe. I've made it three or four times since that first time, and each time I've tweaked the recipe a little bit more. It just gets better and better. Here's the recipe we've all been waiting for!

Ingredients:
1 pkg bowtie noodles
1 C fully cooked chopped ham
1/2 C butter
1/3 C flour
3/4 t salt
2 C milk
1/2 pkg frozen spinach or broccoli (about 5 or 6 oz)
1 C Parmesan cheese (4 oz)

Directions:
Cook pasta according to package directions, and then a little longer to make the pasta a little bit soft. Drain and set aside in desired serving dish.

Meanwhile, melt butter in pan with ham. Cook together until butter is completely melted and ham is heated through. Stir in flour and salt until blended (you should have a thick paste when done); add milk. Bring mixture to a boil, stirring often. Cook for about two minutes or until sauce is thickened. Add spinach just before sauce is at desired consistency; heat through. Reduce heat; add Parmesan cheese.

When cheese is melted, the sauce is done. Pour it over the pasta and stir until the pasta is evenly coated. Enjoy!

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Some notes:

Since the sauce tastes so similar to Alfredo sauce, I decided to make chicken Alfredo with this sauce. It was ok, but would have been better if I had put the chicken in at the end, instead of cooking it in the butter. EDIT: I tried it again with chicken. This time, I put the chicken in after the milk. It was delicious!

The original recipe called for more flour. The sauce thickens more quickly with a greater amount of flour, but I found it was more difficult to control the consistency with that amount of flour. The greater amount of flour also gave a strange texture to the sauce--it made it pastier.

Leftovers are still delicious! The only thing I don't like about regular (home made) Alfredo sauce (besides all the calories...) is that leftovers are really oily the next day. The texture just isn't as creamy after it's been reheated. This sauce stays creamy even after it has been reheated.

Cooking the pasta so it's softer (and coincidentally wetter) makes the dish creamier--and therefore yummier, in my book!

Summer boredom?

I don't ever remember being bored for an extended amount of time during my summer breaks from school, but I've heard it referenced as a common problem for parents and children, especially as I've been reading parenting books. I do remember my younger siblings being bored during their school breaks, however, at least at the beginning.

What was the difference between them and me? I don't think I was inherently less prone to boredom, I assure you! I think it was homeschool that did it for me.

I was homeschooled from 1st through 5th grades, so I spent a lot of time at home. I was used to being at home without very much structured time, and spent most of my free time either playing with my sisters or reading books. I was very rarely bored.

Even though we didn't have friends over very much, my siblings were always around and they were my favorite people to play with, anyway. I don't remember any instances where I wanted to play and I couldn't find someone else who was willing to do something with me, even though I'm guessing that sometimes I had to find something to do on my own. I did read a lot.

My theory is that my younger siblings--who were not homeschooled for most of elementary school--were bored because they were used to structured time and were not used to figuring out what to do with their own time. As the days went by after school let out, however, they gradually adjusted to the new schedule and entertained themselves just fine.

"And thus we see" that kids don't need structured time during the summer to avoid boredom. They need good playmates and they need skills that will allow them to entertain themselves when they can't find someone else to play with. 

The End!

Showing love to children

Lately I've been reading different parenting books to get several different perspectives on parenting and what works. I plan on picking and choosing what I think will work best from these books and combining them (and leaving out the the stuff I don't agree with).

The book that I'm currently reading has some good tactics, but there is one sentence that I just outright disagree with:

"Unless you are a grossly neglectful or abusive parent, your kids know that you love them."

Really? I have a story I'm going to share that contradicts this, but it's not this black and white. To the author's credit, the next sentence is this:

"By all means, tell them that you love them, but not when they're pulling a #4 on you." (A #4 is the manipulation tactic that the author is discussing)

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So my beef is with the first quote. "Unless you are a grossly neglectful or abusive parent, your kids know that you love them."

No, your children don't know that you love them unless you make it a point to make sure that they do! Here's my story:

Once upon a time, a long time ago when Katie was just a little girl, she didn't want to do her chores. When Mom asked her nicely to do her chores, Katie said she just wanted to keep playing. Her mom started getting upset because Katie always responded like this, and Mom just didn't know what to do. Mom wanted Katie to grow up to be a self-sufficient and responsible adult, and she knew that doing chores would help Katie to achieve this goal. So Mom said, "You are going to do your chores NOW, young lady!" 

Katie logically concluded that Mom must hate her because she was interrupting Katie's fun playing to make her do chores, which Katie didn't want to do. So Katie said what was self-evident: "You hate me! I'm not going to do my chores!"

Mom was heartbroken. How could one of her children that she treasured and adored think that she hated her? This had to be remedied. She said, "No, Katie, I love you! That is why I'm asking you to do your chores--because I love you so much."

This didn't make sense to Katie. It hurt her that her mom said she loved Katie when Mom obviously didn't love her.

(Aside: This is what the author was talking about when he said there are times when you shouldn't tell your child that you love them. Boggles the mind, huh?)

Now, if Katie had extended her logic a little further and hadn't thought about herself quite so much, she might have been able to figure out that Mom actually did love and cherish her. Mom cooked nutritious and filling meals for a crowd of ungrateful and ravenous children--including Katie--without complaining (much), she took her children to interesting places and fun parks, and made sure that birthdays and Christmases were special--which was especially hard in Katie's case, because Katie's birthday was just a few days before Christmas (Mom succeeded, because Katie never felt cheated by having a birthday so close to Christmas except for the fact that she never got summery things for her birthday, like a water gun). Mom also took Katie seriously, which was vastly important to that little girl. There were many other ways that Mom acted out her love for Katie, too many to list all of them. 

The point is that even with all this love showered on her, Katie didn't know that her mother loved her. Her mom was not "a grossly neglectful or abusive parent," but somehow Katie did not know she was loved. The problem was that her mom was uncomfortable with--or maybe just not in the habit of--telling her family that she loved them.

I believe that Katie hearing Mom say that she loved her at appropriate times would have solved Katie's problem, but not all children experience love in the same way.

I know a mother of nine children, and her children adore her. It is obvious that they each know of their mother's love. How does she do it, especially with NINE children? Well, I asked her one day. She was very modest about it and gave me some really great advice. The thing that stuck out the most to me was that she pays attention to how her children show love to her and she reciprocates love in a similar manner. If one child is always writing little love notes to his mom, then the mom writes love notes back. If one child always wants to do something with her mom, then the mom will make time to spend with that child. If a child gives gifts to the mother, the mom will give small gifts back. This really struck me because one of the biggest life lessons I learned on my mission is that everyone is different and because of that, people need to be treated differently to communicate properly with them. 

Anyway, I'm getting off subject. The point is, don't just love your children. Make your children know that they are loved. Understand that what makes you feel loved won't necessarily be the key to make them feel loved, so pay attention to how they love you and respond in kind.

Kids love to practice, so let them!

I remember when I first learned how to open a bag of potato chips. I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I was young. One of my parents had asked me to open a bag of chips and put them in a bowl to share. I struggled with the bag for a while, not knowing how to open it. Finally I approached the person who'd asked me to open the bag and asked for some scissors. Instead of giving me scissors, this person showed me how to open the bag, and I immediately wanted to practice (it looked so easy!). Every time a bag of chips was opened after that, I'd ask if I could open it. Sometimes I would be given the opportunity to practice my new skill, and other times, I think whoever had gotten the chips out either didn't want to wait the time for me to open the chips or thought that it was silly that I wanted to open them. I was always disappointed when I didn't get to open them.

The point of this story is that when I was a kid, I wanted to practice a new skill I had learned until I mastered it. Today, opening a bag of chips just doesn't have the same magical quality it did when I was 10 (or whatever age I was. I imagine at age 10 it was still magical because we didn't have chips very often). Sometimes it's inconvenient to let a child practice a new skill, or we just don't realize that that is what they want to do. Sometimes it may be annoying that every time you get ready to do something, your child asks to "help". Sometimes they may botch the job because they haven't quite mastered the skill yet. Regardless of the inconvenience it may present to us, it's important to allow children to practice and to enjoy learning new skills.

How to make a yummy smoothie

I got a blender for Christmas, and so now I make smoothies all the time! My first few were flops. They were disgusting: wrong texture, wrong flavor or blend of flavors, and everything that would make you gag.

Then, in my search for an acceptable smoothie recipe, I found one (probably online) that called for yogurt. Of course!

So I tried yogurt in my next smoothie, and it was a smashing success! I tried it in the next and the next, and then I had to buy more yogurt because it was SO delicious.

Here's a basic (and very flexible!) recipe:

3 ice cubes
1 C chopped fruit
1/2 C yogurt

Blend on high until it looks smooth, then blend on low for a little bit longer just for good measure. Serve! Makes about 10 oz (It will fit in a standard-sized mug).

So far I've tried cantaloupe, apples, and peach-and-banana. I've learned that apples give kind of a strange texture to smoothies, so I'd recommend using a banana or something else really good at smoothing out your smoothie if you want to use an apple anyway. The cantaloupe smoothie was AMAZING, and so was the peach-banana one.

Cute things Levi has done lately :)

1. About a week ago, I brought Levi along on a grocery store trip for the first time in a while. He was enjoying the change of scenery and seeing so many new people, when I heard him say, "Aye!" I turned to look, and there he was looking at another shopper and smiling. Melts my heart! He did this pretty much the whole time we were shopping that day. Several people said "Hi" back to him, while some (unfortunately) didn't notice. Cutecutecutecute!

Can you imagine getting an "Aye!" from this little guy in a grocery store?

2. This morning while I was holding Levi, I noticed him staring at my forehead. After he'd had enough time to analyze it, Levi put his hand up and moved some strands of hair that had gotten out of my clip back up to the rest of my hair. It was so sweet. I love that little boy to pieces!

3. In the past week or two, when I hold Levi so he's hugging my neck or can reach my back in some other way, he'll pat my back. I get a "pat on the back" many times throughout the day. He's so encouraging!

4. Sometimes when Levi does something that makes me laugh, he smiles, and then does it again. He seems to like making me laugh. :) I marvel at how empathetic he can be.

5. Levi has never really liked to sit still and look at books, even with how much Austin and I have tried to encourage him to do so. However, Levi was sad the other day, and I was able to calm him down only by holding him in my lap while looking at a fun book. He's been a lot more cuddly than usual, and I really enjoy how much he just likes to sit in my lap and play even when I'm doing something else.

6. Levi, like many young children, doesn't usually enjoy going to bed and cries pitifully for a few minutes when we leave him by himself in his dark room. He can't sleep any other way, but it still tugs at my poor little heartstrings. A few days ago, I decided to try giving him a little stuffed giraffe to hold while he went to sleep. He has spurned this giraffe in the past, but it seems to be just the right thing for him now! Levi barely makes a sound after I give him the giraffe to hold, and when I put him to bed tonight -- just a few hours ago -- he whimpered a little before I could get the giraffe to him. As soon as the giraffe was in his arms, he made the most adorable sound of contentment and didn't cry at all after. I so wish I'd thought of this earlier! He seems so much happier about going to bed now.

"Positive Discipline": My take

I recently read a book called Positive Discipline. It is, of course, about how to discipline positively. The book focuses on parent-child relationships and teacher-student relationships. I wanted to remember what I liked and didn't like about it, so here's a quick run-down:

Liked:

• Detailed information on how to hold a family council (or family meeting, as the book calls them) or a class council.
• The idea that "kids these days" are less well-behaved and are more "sassy" than kids 50 years ago because kids no longer have adult models of submission and obedience. Women no longer submit to their husbands the way they used to (thank goodness!), and "it is difficult to find anyone who is willing to accept an inferior, submissive role in life."The author states that it's great that there are so many more freedoms now than 50 (or 60 or more) years ago, and it's wonderful that our children are growing up in this world with so many freedoms. However, parents need to take up the slack.
• Here the author reviews 3 kinds of discipline: controlling, permissive, and "positive" discipline.

• Getting children to cooperate by allowing them to be part of the decision on what the consequence should be
• Not punishing children, but disciplining them. If you punish a child, they are humiliated. If you discipline a child, the child experiences natural or logical consequences that helps them to stop behaving poorly. Sometimes the child enjoys going through with these consequences (e.g. if sent to his/her room, the child may enjoy playing with toys while there. That's ok).
• Information on the benefits of a "cooling-off" period. 
• The idea that children who misbehave are misbehaving to achieve a goal--whether they know it or not. The primary goal is to achieve belonging and significance. Secondary goals (to acheive the primary goal) include:
• Attention
• Power
• Revenge
• Assumed inadequacy (this isn't really a goal, but the author asserts that when children are suffering from assumed inadequacy, they think something like, "I do not feel that it is possible for me to belong and have significance, so I will give up and hope people leave me alone."
• How encouragement is different from praise
• True stories were used to illustrate concepts

Disliked:

• Didn't really talk about children who are well-behaved and perform well but need more attention. Although this is a book about discipline, there were several places that I think it would have been useful to mention that some children who are obedient and appear to be happy need to acheive belonging and significance just as much as their misbehaving counterparts.
• The book was written in the 1980's. It's a little outdated.
• You have to work to get through the book.

Overall, it was a really helpful book. I really liked the ideas presented in it and would like to review it again in a few years to refresh that part about family councils. I'd also like to review the chapter on mistaken goals, because it had some good stuff about how to recognize and deal with each mistaken goal.

Wrestling vs. cuddling with kids

I'm reading Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen, and I just got to an interesting part about wrestling. The author says:

"Active children may do better with active cuddling than the sit-quietly-on-the-lap type of cuddling."

Really? I had no idea that wrestling ("active cuddling") could be on the same plane as the traditional type of cuddling.

What do you think? Can wrestling be a good substitute for cuddling when the kids don't want to cuddle very much?